Lifetimes Apart
by Zaydasky
Summary: Olivia's past comes back to change the course of her life. It involves Elliot deeply into her life and introduces her grown daughter.
1. Chapter 1

**Not mine. All belongs to D.W.**

Chapter 1

**SVU Squadroom**

**Tuesday, January 23**

**3:33 P.M.**

"Excuse me, sir. I am looking for a Detective Olivia Benson. Do you know where I can find her?" a tall, good-looking man in an expensive suit asked as he came up to Captain Donald Cragen.

"I'm sorry. She's out right now. Can I help you with anything?" he asked, looking closely at the man.

"No. I am afraid not. This is something of a personal nature. Could you please give her my card and ask her to get in touch as soon as possible?"

"No need. Here she is. Olivia," he called as she came in. "This man would like to speak with you."

Olivia noted the nice suit, the lather briefcase, and the fact that the man practically screamed lawyer. They weren't working on any major cases right now, so she was at a loss as to why a lawyer would be looking for her. "Have a seat," she said, walking over to the desk she shared with Elliot.

"Is there someplace more private we could talk?" he asked, looking around the bustling squadroom.

"Sure, the interview room is this way," she said leading him to the small office and pulling the blinds shut.

"Detective Benson, my name is Andrew Sedilmeyer. I am a lawyer the firm that represents James Atherton." He paused. "As you may know his daughter Grace is adopted. She is now at an age where she is...discovering her roots, so to speak. Mr. Atherton, like any caring father supports her in this. To that end, he has discharged my firm with finding Ms. Atherton's biological mother. In our search, we've come across evidence that you are very possibly this person and...Detective? Detective Benson? Are you alright?"

She could feel the blood draining from her face. Vaguely in the background she could hear the lawyer anxiously trying to get her attention. It was too much. After all these years and here this man was telling her that her daughter, 'possibly', wanted to meet her. Suddenly, she snapped out of the daze she was in. "I'm fine," she said, flashing him a weak smile. "Please continue."

"Right. As I was saying, we think that you may be Ms. Atherton's birth mother. To that end, I would like to ask you a few questions. Would that be alright?" He seemed very solicitous of her

"Um, okay," Olivia said softly. He pulled out a small recording device.

"This is Andrew Sedilmeyer speaking with Olivia Benson. January 23, 2006," he spoke into the recorder. "Detective, could you please confirm the date and place where you were admitted to the hospital and why."

"September 13, 1982. St. Catherine's Medical Center, New York. I was admitted to give birth to my baby." Her voice sounded strange, like she was very far away.

He looked at his notes to check her answer. "And what happened to the baby," he prompted.

"I gave her up for adoption," she said, playing nervously with her watch.

"And the agency you went though"

"We-I went through a private agency, the KASI Foundation of New York." He looked at his notes again.

"Well, Detective, it looks like everything is in order. I am sorry to ask you this but Mr. Atherton has requested that before we go any futher that you take a DNA test. He is very concerned that we have the right person. That is of course, if _you_ wish to proceed with this."

"Could I have a few days to think this over?" she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

"By all means. Here's my card. You can get in touch with my office anytime," he said, handing her a business card. "I hope to hear from

you soon."

She nodded vaguely as he grabbed his briefcase and headed out the door. He looked back at her, her head bent over the table, and wondered if this would break her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Olivia's Apartment**

**7:21 a.m.**

**Wednesday, January 24**

Olivia awoke to the smell of something breakfasty being cooked in her kitchen. She could hear Elliot singing off key but she couldn't make out the words, as she padded softly to the kitchen. He was standing at the stove making scrambled eggs. She smiled as she waited for him to notice her.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he called, turning the pan off. "You, my friend, are just in time for some of my world famous eggs."

"Oh, really? I didn't even know you could cook," she said looking dubiously as he placed a plate of egg, toast, and bacon in front of her.

"Well, I'm a man of many hidden talents." They bantered good-naturedly all through breakfast, but Elliot could tell there was still something bothering her.

"Listen, Liv," he said, gathering up their breakfast dishes. "I know this is going to be hard for you but you need to know that whatever happens, I am here for you."

"Thanks, El. I-" she stopped suddenly. "How can you be so great? I mean, you and Kathy kept Maureen. You got married, you had a life. How can you be so supportive when you did the exact opposite."

"Liv. Liv, look at me," he said trying to catch her eye. "When Kathy and I found out she was pregnant we panicked. We didn't know what to do and yes, we did consider adoption, but our situation was different. There were two of us in that relationship, we were 18, and we did what was best for us then. You weren't in same thing. You were 16 and scared and alone. You knew that keeping your baby would mean bringing her to a home where you were dealing with an abusive, alcoholic mother. You can't think that I would judge you for wanting a better life for your baby."

Olivia looked at him, stunned. He'd obviously given this a lot of thought. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at him. Then she reached across the small table and gave him a chaste hug.

"Thanks, Elliot. I really needed to hear that. I'm going to hit the shower now. I guess it wouldn't look good to be late to work today," she said releasing him and heading for her bedroom.

When she returned from getting read for work Elliot was waiting for her on her couch. He had changed into the clothes he kept at her apartment for those times when he just couldn't make it across the city to his apartment.

"Ready to go?" he asked hopefully over his mug of coffee.

"Yep. Let me grap my coat and I'm all set," she replied, snatching her keys from the counter.

They rode to work in comfortable silence and set about a quiet day of paperwork. They were catching if any new cases came in but it seemed the rapists had taken a day off. Munch and Fin were in court that day, so the office was quiet when the clock rolled around to 6.

"Hey, you 'bout ready to go," Olivia called as Elliot closed his last case file.

"Yeah. You want me to drop you off on my way?" he asked as he pulled on his jacket. Before she could answer a stunning brunette walked into the room. Looking around, she finally addressed herself to Olivia.

"Hello. I'm looking for Olivia Benson. Are you by any chance her?" Olivia felt chills down her spine.

"Yes. I am. W-What can I help you with?" she asked trying to keep her breathing normal.

"My name is Grace Atherton. I think you and I should talk." The girl looked around the squad room anxiously. "Do you think we could go for coffee or something? I'm not sure I would feel comfortable discussing this here."

"Yeah. Okay. There's a coffee shop around the corner. Let me finish up here and I'll meet you in ten," Olivia answered, her eyes never leaving the girl as she turned to leave. She could feel Elliot's eyes boring into her as she turned around.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked, already knowing her answer.

"No. I need to do this on my own." She looked at him pleadingly, begging him to understand.

"Okay," he said, recognising the desperation in her tone. "Call me later if you need anything." He gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head. "It's going to be okay. Trust me."

Olivia looked around the croweded shop for the girl. Her daughter. She spotted her sitting pensively staring into her cup of black coffee.

"I like it black too," she said taking the seat opposite. Grace smiled and nodded. A smile so very like her own.

"I know Daddy sent his lawyer to talk to you," she began. "I hope he wasn't too terrible." At Olivia's shake of her head she continued, "Good. Look, all I really came here to say was that I know my dad and he's probably pressuring you to take and DNA test and stuff and I wanted you to know that if you don't want to get involved I understand. I don't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable." When she finished, she finally looked up at Olivia.

"He didn't pressure me. His lawyer, I mean. He just left me his business card and told me he'd be in touch." She paused. "I am going to do it."

"What?" She asked with hope in her eyes.

"I am planning on taking the test. I want to get to know you. And I want you to know me." Olivia looked at the girl, no, woman sitting before her with tears of happiness in her eyes.

"I am so glad. I was so afraid that you wouldn't want to see me," she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

"I've always wanted to see you, to know you. It just wasn't possible before and to be honest I didn't think you would want to see me." Olivia was too overcome to say more.

"So you'll tell me why?" Grace asked

"I'll tell you everything," Olivia promised.

Both of them knew that the telling of this story would be long and hard for both of them, so they decided to go back to Olivia's apartment. Olivia ordered Chinese food while Grace perused the book shelves. When their food arrived they both sat cross-legged on the floor as Olivia began her tale.

"I'm not sure how to start this, so I guess I'll start with my mother. Please let me finish before you ask me any questions. I don't think I can do this otherwise," Olivia said. At her nod she continued, "In 1967 my mother was a college student at NYU. She didn't party much. She spent most of her time at the library. One night, a man pulled her into a small alley just below street level. He raped her. Nine monthes later I was born. There is a five year statute of limitations for rape and my mom was so sure they'd catch the guy before the time limit was up. When the five years came and went she started to change. She started drinking more and more. Up until then I'd had a pretty secure, normal life but after that...Well, nothing's ever been normal.

"About a month before I turned 16 my mom came home completely smashed, worse than usual. I-I couldn't take being there. My friend Miranda was having a party that night and I knew she wouldn't mind if I showed up and spent the night so I headed over there. Once, I got there I had a few beers and started to loosen up. I got tired and Miranda said I could sleep in the guest bedroom. There was somebody already passed out on the bed but I was too tired and drunk to care. Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up to Miranda's brother's friend kissing me. I don't really remember a lot but we did have sex. The next day he didn't remember anything. I didn't know what to do. The party was for him, you see. His family was moving to Australia and that was his last day in town. When I found out I was pregnant with I did try to get in contact with him but Miranda's brother had lost touch with him by then.

"I was alone and I was terrified of telling my mother. I knew she would be furious with me so I waited until one night when I knew she wouldn't be drinking. She was mad, although she did take better than I imagined. She never once hit me the whole time I was pregnant but she did get drunk that night and every night until I went into the hospital to have you. I knew that it would be wrong to bring a baby into the hell that had become my life. I contacted an adoption agency a few weeks before you were born and they agreed that adoption was I believe the word they used was 'essential' for you own good. When the doctors took you away to be cleaned up, I called the agency and arranged for them to be there within the hour. I wanted you to be safe as soon as possible. My mom came in shortly after I made the call and I explained to her what I was going to do. She just sat there and listened. She never said one word about it that night or ever after."

Grace sat there with a stunned look on her face. "Wow." Her face was a mask of astonishment and some emtion Olivia couldn't identify. "Wow," she said again. "That is a lot to take in.

"Yeah. It is," Olivia replied softly. The silence was interupted by the shrill ring of the telephone.

"I am really glad you told me all this. I really need to go now. I-I'll-call you later, okay?" she said hurriedly as she gathered her things and headed for the door. "I promise I'll be in touch. Oh, and please don't tell Daddy I was here, okay?" And with that she was gone.

Olivia was startled out of her thoughts by the ring of her cell phone. _Elliot_ she thought. _If I don't answer that he's going to be pounding on my door in a few minutes._

"Benson," she answered out of habit.

"Hey. How'd it go?" he asked.

"Good. I think. She just left." Elliot could hear the tension in her voice.

"She just left! It's nearly midnight," he exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know. We had a lot to talk about. I told her, El. I told her everything. Everything about my mom and her." The silence was deafening.

"How did she take it?" he asked slowly.

"I'm not sure. She left pretty quick when I was done." She sounded confused.

"Well, it would be a lot for her take in, to deal with. Do you want me to come over?" He sounded hopeful but Olivia wasn't sure she wanted him there right now. Their relationship was changing and she wasn't sure how deep she wanted those changes to go.

"El, its late. I think I just need to be alone right now. I don't want you wandering the streets this late because of me." He could hear the exhaustion in her voice and decided to let it go.

"Ok. I'll see you at work tomorrow," he said.

"Yeah. Tommorrow. G'night, El," she said, hanging up the phone.

As much as she wanted to sleep, her thoughts kept plaguing her. She wasn't sure where her relationship with her daughter, with Grace, would lead but she knew that she wanted to be a part of her daughter's future. She prayed for the first time in a long time that her daughter wouldn't be scared of her and the past she represented. And she prayed for Elliot. She had his friendship and their relationship as parteners but she wanted and needed more. She needed his love.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**SVU Squadroom**

**7:32 p.m.**

**Friday, January 26**

Two days later found Olivia at her desk staring at her phone. The day before she had gone to the clinic the lawyer sent her to. They told her they would have the results in 24 hours. That was 29 hours ago and counting.

"Liv," Elliot began, only to be cut off by the shrill ring of her phone.

"Benson," she said, glancing at Elliot as he prentended not to listen to her end of the conversation. He didn't get much for his effort. She only nodded and gave several affirmative sounding grunts.

When she finished, she turned back to the files on her desk, ignoring Elliot's inquistive gaze. Finally, he caved. "So?" he asked, drawing out the word.

She glanced over at him, her hair falling in her eyes. "So, what?"

He let out an exasperated sigh. "So, was that the clinic?"

She smiled at him. She was going to have a little fun. "The clinic? Which clinic?"

"You know. THE clinic." He sensed her playfulness as was willing to go along with it just to see where she was going with it. It was rare that showed him this side of her and he knew it was probably good news if she was teasing him.

"Oh, you mean the DNA testing clinic?" she asked, her attention still seeming to be on her file.

"Yeah. That clinic."

"No. Wasn't them." She kept her head down and tried to keep the smile off her face. She knew he was letting her toy with him and she wondered how long he would let it continue.

He looked at her, trying to decide if she was lying. He could see her trying not to smile but that could mean anything. She was still playing him, he knew, but if it wasn't the clinic..."So, we got a new case or anything?"

"Not that I know of," she replied, keeping her head down.

_Two can play this game_ he thought as he began closing out the programs on his computer. "Oh, in that case, I'm gonna head out. See ya in the morning." He grabbed his jacket and started for the door when he heard her voice from behind him.

"Come on, El. That's not fair. You know I'm going to tell you." She watched as he oh so casually turned back around.

"Tell me? Tell me what?" He struggled to keep a straight face.

"Ha, ha. You are so funny," she said, logging off her computer and retrieving her own jacket. "Let's grab some dinner and I'll tell you all about it."

"Yeah, ok. I guess I can live with that," he said, trying to sound disappointed. She shot him another teasing look as she gathered her things together.

They left the station house together still playfully arguing. Neither noticed the man in the shadows watching them. He shook his head slightly at their antics and returned to the desk in his office.

"All right, are you going to tell me or not?" Elliot asked as he slurped lo mein noodles noisily from his position on the other side of her coffee table. She'd been holding out on him for the better part of two hours.

"Yeah." She paused, taking a breath. "I didn't lie to you earlier. That call wasn't from the clinic. It was from Grace. Apparently the clinic called her and let her know the results and she told them that she would take care of informing me. I am her mother, El. I was sure before, but now...To know without a doubt. It's amazing."

Her voice was full of wonder and excitement and Elliot couldn't help but smile at her joy. "I'm glad for you, Liv. This is an amazing opportunity."

"Yeah, it is," she said smiling over at him. She was so grateful for him, for all the support he'd given her the last few days. She'd been on an emotional rollarcoaster and he'd come along willingly for the ride.

He sensed her mood change and wondered at it. "What is is?" he asked his voice full of concern.

At his worried look, she laughed. "It's nothing. I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life. Sometimes I don't know why you put up with me."

He looked at her seriously for a moment. "Olivia, I don't want you to ever wonder at that. I am here. I will always be here. For you. Always."

Suddenly shy at the serious bent the conversation had taken, she looked down before answering him. "I know that, El. And I am grateful to have you back." She looked startled at her own words.

"Have me back? Where have I been?" he asked genuinely confused.

She looked down, anywhere but at him. How could she have been so stupid? Their relationship was finally begining to recover from the shambles it had become since his divorce and she had to go and ruin it all over again. "Nothing, no where." _Come on. El. Let it go_ she thought, knowing he would not.

"No. Really, where have I been?" His voice was soft and steely at the same time and she knew she'd touched a nerve.

"It's not important, El. Please. Let it go. I didn't mean anything." She watched him stealthily from shaded lids. He wasn't going to let it go.

"Yes, you did. I need you to tell me." She finally looked at him, his steady gaze never leaving her.

"I...you...I don't know. For a while after your divorce you just seemed so distant. You wouldn't let me in, you wouldn't let anyone in, and it really hurt. But lately, you've been different. You've been more like the Elliot I know and-" She cut herself off quickly before she could finish the the thought. _The Elliot I know and love._

He sat there for a few minutes stunned. He had no idea she felt like this, that he had been like that. Sure he knew he'd been hard to deal with after the divorce but he didn't realize she'd felt so cut off and distant from him. "Olivia, I am so sorry. I had no idea I'd been doing that to you. I just-I'm sorry."

"It's ok, El," she said, taking his hand in her own across the coffee table. "It was a hard time."

He looked at their joined hands and knew in that moment that he would do whatever it takes to make sure that their hands would never come apart again. He drew her hand ever so slowly to him, pulling her body with it. They were both on their knees now, bodies inches apart. He took her other hand in his and looked in her eyes.

"I promise you, Olivia, that I won't ever go away again. I won't ever shut you out again. You, what we have between us, it's too important to me. I'm sorry I did but I promise you I will not push you away like that anymore."

The silence was deafening. They stayed like that, holding hands, breathing each other's breath for what seemed like hours until finally she broke. "What we have between us?" she asked her voice barely above a whisper.

He searched her face, looking for understanding and when he found it, he moved ever so slightly and brushed her lips with his own. He sensed her hesitation and pulled back. But her lips followed him. She leaned into him, pressing her body against his and deepened the kiss. Every nerve in his body was on fire. He could feel every point where her body touched his. Flames lept from his skin when she released his hand to wrap her arms around his neck. She moaned softly when his tounge met hers in a tangled dance.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Olivia Benson's Apartment**

**9:04 a.m.**

**Saturday, January 27**

Olivia awoke to the sound of breathing near her ear and a heavy arm slung over waist. It took her a moment to realize where, and more importantly who, was snoring softly behind her. When she did she snuggled deeper into his embrace, relishing the feel of his solid body cradled around her. She heard and felt when he began to wake up. His breathing settling into the lighter rhythems of wakefulness and his arms tightened around her.

She smiled secretly to herself before rolling over to face him. "Good morning."

He kissed her softly, hesitantly on the lips. "Good morning yourself, beautiful. You sleep well?"

"Nope. You snore," she said nestling deeper into his embrace. He grinned at the playfulness in her tone. This was a side to Olivia Benson he could really get used to.

"I do, do I? I could tell you the same thing, but _I_ am too much of a gentleman."

"Why would you tell me that you snore when I just told you that?" she said slipping out of his arms and heading for the door.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," he called after her. Her only response was her laughter.

He lay on her pillows for a few minutes just trying to take in everything that had been happening between them, his light mood momentarily abandoned. He had stayed the night. On her bed. With her. He'd stayed at her apartment before. He had been here with her only a few nights ago, but it had always been different. They'd been different.

They had always defined their relationship with work. They were 'Partners'. In the NYPD, that meant friends, support system, back-up. It did not mean that any of those words were followed by 'with benefits'. And while he had yet to enjoy the 'with benefits' part, he knew that their relationship had been heading in that direction for a very long time. The dissolution of his marriage had forced him to lean heavily on Olivia and yet he'd fought that, distancing himself in a way that had hurt her.

He had been trying in the last few weeks to heal the breach that he'd created and she seemed willing to put it behind them. Her confession last night had made him realize how far he'd pushed her. And how far he would go to get her back and keep her there.

She needed him now. This thing with Grace was not just her chance at redemption, it was his too.

He was startled out of his reverie by the shrill morning ring of her telephone. He could hear her low voice as he dragged himself from the safe haven of her bedroom to the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen. She hung up the phone just as he entered. She had a huge grin on her face as she turned to him.

"Someone woke up on the right side of the bed this morning," he said grinning back at her. "Good news?"

"Sort of. That was Grace. She wants to meet for lunch today." She said as she began pouring coffee into two NYPD mugs.

"I take it you're going?" he asked curiously.

"I am. I've wanted for so long to see her, to know her and I just can't believe she is giving me this chance." Her smile faded just a bit. "I don't know if I would, if I were in her shoes."

"Liv," Elliot said tipping her chin up. "Don't question this. It's good. You have an incredible opportunity to fix what you think was a mistake. Don't overanalyse, don't doubt it. Just enjoy it.

She looked at him funny. "You don't think giving her away was a mistake? That you would have made the same choice?"

"I told you before, Liv. I think that you made the best decision you could. And while I can't whether or not I would have made the same choices you did, I do understand wanting to protect your child. That's what you were doing, isn't it? Protecting her from the kind of life you had?" His eyes never left hers as he pulled her into his arms.

"I loved her so much," she began pulling him closer and resting her head on his chest. "She was so little. I only got to hold her for a few minutes before the agency came for her. I wanted so much to just hold on to her. I almost didn't let them take her. She was looking at me with these trusting eyes like she knew I would keep her safe. I was going to tell the agency people that I'd changed my mind and then my mom came in the room and I could smell the gin. I just...I couldn't take her home to that, El. I couldn't live with myself if I let my baby have that life."

"I know. Maybe that's why you get this chance. I know you don't believe in God but maybe someone up there really is looking out for you."

She smiled up at him with watery eyes. "I would really like to believe that."

The morning seemed to drag on. She sent Elliot home and made him promise not to call. She was nervous enough without his presence reminding her that not only did she have a burgeoning relationship with her twenty-two year old daughter but a chance at a life with him.

Grace had arranged to meet her at a small cafe near Central Park. It was one of those upscale resturants that prided themselves in being as private or as public as one wanted. She was already waiting in a corner booth when Olivia arrived. They smiled awkwardly at each other.

"Hi," they said at the same time.

"Well, this is awkward," Grace said grinning at Olivia.

"Yep," Olivia said grinning back. "So, what should we do about it?"

"Well," she said thoughtfuly. "We could go back in time and start over but I doubt that would help much or we could both order drinks and chat about the weather until they come."

"So, it's been really cold lately," Olivia said with a smile.

"Drinks it is! I'll have a white wine," she said to the waiter who appeared as if by magic.

"Same," Olivia said turning her full attention to the woman sitting before her. Grace shared her chocolate brown eyes and high cheekbones and she could her mother's sense of humor in Grace's smile, but there was something about her, a spark, that Olivia couldn't name. And then it hit her.

Grace was happy. Not momentary happiness but a lifetime of joy shone out her smiling eyes. It was a concept that Olivia found hard to grasp. Her childhood, hell her life, had been one disappointment after another and the world she saw everyday at work had jaded her to the point that she almost didn't recognize contentment when it stared her in the face.

Grace looked at her inquistively. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Olivia smiled at her. "I was just thinking about you. You look happy."

"I am happy. I've found something I've been looking for my entire life."

"No. I mean, I was thinking that you look like you've had a great life."

She sighed softly. "I have had a good life but this...Knowing who you are, where I come from. This is what makes it great."

"Tell me about it. Please?" Olivia was deparate to know everything about her daughter's life, but she didn't want to push Grace too far.

Grace smiled gleefully. "I thought you might feel that way, so I dug out a bunch of old photo albums and stuff. It's all back at my apartment, if you want to come over after lunch?"

"I'd love to," Olivia said with a smile in her voice.

The awkwardness of strangers wore off and they chatted like old friends. They talked about Grace's recent graduation from Harvard and her plans for law school in New York, Olivia's Academy days and her years on the force. They did not talk about what she did for a living nor why.

Two hours later found them at Grace's penthouse on Central Park West. It was a beautiful building just off 72nd and Olivia was a little overwhelmed. The building oozed money and class. It was a far cry from her one bedroom near the precinct.

Grace lead her to a cozy room decorated in muted colors. A set of overstuffed couches in front of a long apothecary style coffee table dominated the room. Spread out were dozens of photo albums, all perfectly matched and labeled.

"My mom was a photographer. She took most of these," Grace said handing Olivia an album labeled 1983.

Olivia opened the cover and felt her heart stop. Inside was a picture of Grace in a hospital bassinet, her i.d. band still on her wrist, the letters spelling out 'Baby Bens' before fading around the curve of her tiny arm. "Oh My God," she breathed. "Where did you get this?"

"My mom-" Grace's voice cracked. "My mom was at the hospital that day. She wanted to talk to you. She tried to talk to you but the people from the adoption agency wouldn't let her. She wanted you to have a picture to take with you, so you would always have something to hold on to but you left too quickly. She took that picture for you."

"Why? Why would she care so much?" Olivia asked her voice strained.

"Because she knew what it was like to give birth and not have a baby to take home." Grace spoke softly, reverantly.

Finally, Olivia spoke. "What happened?"

Grace looked at her with tears in her eyes. "She had four miscarriages. The last time she got pregnant she carried the baby for eight monthes but he was stillborn. My dad says that after that she gave up living...until I came along."

Silence pervaded the apartment. Then Olivia turned page and Grace began to tell her the stories behind the pictures of the dark-eyed, pink cheeked little girl who dominated every scene.

Hours later, as the sun began to set behind the bare trees of Central Park, Olivia gathered her things.

"Olivia? I need to show you something," Grace said disappearing back into the living room. "My mom wrote this for you. It's from the day I was born. I think it's time you had it."

Olivia stared at the stark white envelope she held out to her. Slowly she reached out and took the letter. "Thanks," she whispered as she turned and started down the long marble hallway. She paused only when she heard the door click quietly behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: How's that for drama? I need reviews guys! Props to all of you who've written such kind reviews so far! This is a short chapter but I promise I'll make it up to you in the next one, but it may be a few days. Really busy!

Chapter 5

Dear Olivia,

I have so many things to say to you right now. I need to tell you how grateful I am that you have given me the most precious gift one person can give to another. I'm not supposed to know your name or anything about you but, God forgive me, I couldn't leave the hopital today without knowing the name of the woman who gave me her child.

The adoption agency won't tell us much about you. They just said that you were young and didn't feel that you would be able to properly care for a baby. I need you to know that you did the right thing. My husband and I will keep her safe for you. She is the answer to my-our-prayers and I promise you that we will do our best to make sure she lives life.

It is important to me that you know this because I too gave up a baby. My husband doesn't know. I think it might kill him if he did. We've wanted a child for so long and been to hell and back trying. I don't know if he would forgive me for giving my baby to someone else.

Like you now, I was very young when I got pregnant and my family would rather I died than bring home a child at 15. They did their best to coverup my pregnancy and to this day the only one left who knows I was once a mother is my sister Vivian. I am telling you this because I need your forgiveness for becoming am mother again to your daughter.

She is so sweet. She is sleeping now and her little legs kick the blanket. Her eyes are blue, but in a few monthes they will probably change. I will wonder if she looks like you and say a little prayer of thankfulness that I don't know.

I want her to be mine. I want her to look at me and know that I will always be her mother but I know that can't be. I will tell her about you. I will make sure she understands the sacrifice you made for her and how she will always have a piece of you inside her.

Years from now when she is grown up and has given you this letter I pray that you will go to her and tell her how much I loved her because I know I won't be with her for this moment. Another hospital called an hour after we arrived home with her. I have lynphoma. They said that there is a good chance that they can treat it but something inside tells me that I won't be here for our, yours and mine, daughter's awakening into womanhood. I will try my best but 'time and unforseen occurance...'

Promise me that when she does find you, you will care gpr her and give her all the love she deserves? I am going to leave this letter with her when the time comes, and when it does I want you to take the key I am enclosing and open the safety deposit box at New York National Bank on Lexington and 110th. I will leave letters there for you from all the important events in her life so that when she comes to you, you won't have to wonder if there was ever more.

My husband and I have decided to call her Grace Victoria because she is here by the grace of God and because she will always be victorious. I thank you every day and pray that you will find happiness in whatever life brings you because you've brought happiness back into mine.

Elizabeth Atherton

September 1983

With tears streaming down her face, Olivia folded the letter back up and fished out the small silver key still in the crisp white envelope. She held it up to the light, staring at it as if it was the key to the universe.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: OK, so the time stamp thing is going on vacation for a while. It sends it's love to all you who wrote great reviews and curses Dick Wolf for refusing to let these guys out to play! Thanks.

Chapter 6

Olivia spent the next day holed up in her apartment. Elliot called but she'd come up with some apprently believeable excuses as to why she couldn't spend time with him. She needed time to think about the letter.

Elizabeth Atherton was giving her more than just a key to a safety deposit box; she was giving her a window into her daughter's life. Pieces of Grace's life that only a mother would know and remember. The idea that this woman who'd raised her daughter would care so much about her was mind boggling.

She knew that Grace didn't know about the letters or the box. The envelope had been sealed and it hadn't looked like anyone had tampered with it, so she had a decision to make. Did she tell Grace and read the letters with her or did she keep the secret to herself and treasure the snippets of her baby's life in the most private parts of her heart? Because she knew that she couldn't leave those letters there. They were part of her daughter's soul and she needed something to hold on to.

Finding Grace had come as a surprise. She'd locked her feelings up and tried her best to live her life without letting the guilt she felt blind her. She'd suceeded for the most part, but seeing Grace walk into the squadroom, reading that letter, had burst through her protective walls and she was stumbling into uncharted and dangerous territory.

Elliot stood outside her door. He knew she had been avoiding him all day and he was worried. She'd always kept things to herself but she'd never avoided him before. He wanted deperately to talk to her. She'd made him promise not to call, but he'd assumed that she would call him and let him know how things went. He was startled out of his reverie but the sounds of 'My Humps' coming from his cell phone. Lizzie must have changed his ring again.

"Stabler," he said out of habit, not even bothering to check the caller i.d.

"Get your ass in here. My neighbor called and said that I've got a threatening looking man standing outside my door. She wants to know if I should call the cops. What do you think I should tell her?" Olivia teased.

"Funny," he said opening her door and closing his phone. "Maybe you should tell her that the scary man is a cop. Bet that would cheer her up."

"I don't think that would help. She doesn't believe anyone without a uniform is legit. She didn't even believe that I was on the force until I showed her my dress uniform," she said smiling from her position underneath a huge comforter, the remains of her soup dinner still on the coffee table. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled. She didn't seem particularly upset so he crossed the room and kissed her before sitting in front of her on her coffee table. "I was worried. I hadn't heard from you in over 24 hours."

"You know how many hours it's been since we talked?" He ducked his head. "Come on, El. How many is it?"

"Twenty-seven," he said avoiding her gaze.

She laughed. "Oh my god! You are too much!"

"Glad I could help," he said sarcastically, pretending to be hurt.

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him gently. "I'm glad you came over. I missed you."

"For all twenty-seven hours?"

"For all twenty-seven hours and thirteen minutes," she said pulling him tighter and kissing him again.

"You want company under there?" he asked when they finally came up for air.

She pulled the blanket tighter around her. "Yeah. You know anyone who wants the job?"

"I might. Want me to call him?"

"I would but I think he has the Black Eyed Peas as his cell phone ring. I could never be with a guy like that," she teased. "Why do you have that on your phone anyway?"

"I'll tell you if you let me in there with you," he said gesturing to the couch and her comforter.

"All right," she said making room for him. She curled into him as he settled on the couch.

"Lizzie," he said.

"What?"

"She's the reason I have the Black Eyed Peas, not to mention Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, on my phone. She thinks it's funny"

They sat in silence for a few minutes watching some new crime drama. They both were enjoying their newfound closeness. Elliot had missed the simple things that came with being in a relationship, cuddling on the couch, eating together and the bonding that came with it.

After a while Olivia spoke up. "It went good, Elliot. Lunch was fun and then we went back to her apartment and looked at some of her old photos. There was even one from the hospital. She was still wearing the i.d. bracelet that said Baby Benson."

"Is that how she found you?" he asked pulling her closer.

"Probably. I didn't ask." She was quiet again.

"What aren't you telling me, Liv?"

She looked into his eyes, astounded that he knew her _that_ well. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Look at me and know."

"It's a gift. Don't change the subject. What else happened?"

She took a deep breath. "She wrote me a letter, El."

"Who? Grace?" he asked, confusion written on his face. "Why would she write you a letter?"

"No. Not Grace. Her...her mom," Olivia said slowly, watching Elliot closely.

He was quiet for a moment. "Wow. That's big."

"I know."

"So what did it say?"

"Here. Read it."

"Are you sure you want me to?" he asked softly.

"Yeah. I'm sure," she said handing him the letter.

He was speechless. For that woman to have written that letter was amazing but for her to have written to Olivia as Grace grew up; that was beyond amazing.

"Wow. She must have been an incredible woman. Did Grace say when she...ya know?"

"Yeah. She said it only happened a year ago. When Grace was young, Elizabeth's cancer went into remission until just a couple of years ago. After that, I guess it went pretty quick after that."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet. I'm pretty sure Grace didn't know what was in this letter and I doubt she knows about the other ones. I'm not sure how she is going to react to all this. She could see it as a betrayal. Like her mom is giving away a piece of their relationship."

He thought about it for a moment. "I guess she could see it like that or maybe she would see it as a link to past. A way for her to remember the good times."

"Yeah. Hey, did you bring clothes?" she asked abruptly changing the subjet.

"Yeah," he said sheepishly. "They're in the car."

"Planning to stay the night?" she teased.

"No," he said turning serious for a moment. "Just hoping."

She softly at him, then turned to him seriously. "El, what are we doing here?"

"What do you mean?" he asked stalling for time by gathering up her empty cup and soup bowl and taking them to the kitchen.

"You know what I mean, Elliot," she said following him. "We both know that we have feelings for each other, but where do we really want to take this? Where do _you_ want this to go?"

"Liv," he said sitting her back on the couch and facing her, "When I wake up every mourning you are the first thing I think of, when I go to bed you are the last thing I think of, and when I can't see you or touch you or even just talk to you I go crazy. I love you. Whatever happens between us, I'm in. I'm all in."

Her hands found his and pulled him to her. Their foreheads touching, their breath mingling she promise him, "God, Elliot. I've wanted you too, for so long. Longer than I ever had a right to. I love you, too. So much."

They each knew that they were starting the rest of their lives in that one moment. Whatever life would bring them, they would face it together with love and determination. They sealed their vows to each other with a kiss that was a soft and sweet as it was hungry and demanding and above all filled with love.

A/N: 'My Humps' belongs to the Black Eyed Peas and is probably copywrited out the wazoo. Also, there was a quote from Gilmore Girls in there.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hi guys! I know its been a while but my life's been crazy busy lately. So many boys, so little time. Anyway, I know this chapter is REALLY short but I promise to make it up to you! REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!

Chapter 7

Olivia woke the next morning to once again find herself wrapped in strong arms. She lay there, savoring the feeling. She felt so safe, so loved laying like that. She turned to face Elliot when she felt him waking behind her.

"Hey," he said kissing her lightly.

"Hey yourself." She could feel his erection pressing into her belly and she moved against him ever so slightly. She was rewarded when she felt him twitch.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he said gruffly

Her voice was teasing and innocent. "Oh? Why not?"

"Because things happen when you do that."

She smiled mischieviously at him. "Really? Like what?"

He pulled her closer, before whispering dangerously in her ear, "Wouldn't you like to know." His knee had found its way between her legs and he rubbed her gently.

Her laugh was full and throaty. "Would I ever!" With that she flipped him on his back and kissed him soundly. "Things like that?"

"Maybe," he said as his hands found their way underneath her tank top and to her breasts.

She moaned as he slid her shirt off and started kissing his way down her neck. Her hands roamed his bare back, feeling his muscles as he moved on top of her once again. He began working his way down her body, stopping to pay special attention to her nipples before moving lower. Suddenly, her alarm started blaring.

"Oh, god. We've got to get up." She reached over to shut the alarm off.

Elliot pulled her to him and kissed her hard. "Promise me we will finish this later."

"Promise," she said getting up and heading for the shower.

Olivia was still in the shower when her phone rang. "El, could you get that?" she called.

"Yeah. Hello," he said picking up the phone.

"Um, Hi," said the voice on the line. "Is Olivia there?"

"She's a little busy at the moment. Can I take a message?"

"Yes. Could you please tell her that Grace called and she can reach me on my cell?"

"Sure. No problem."

While Olivia finished her shower, Elliot made breakfast and got himself ready. A call from Grace was a good sign. It meant that Grace was still serious about pursuing a relationship with Olivia. He had been concerned that she would lose interest after meeting with her a few times. Olivia had been so thrilled when Grace contacted her and he worried what would happen if Grace hadn't wanted to follow through.

"Hey, who was on the phone?" Olivia asked breaking his train of thought.

"Oh, that was Grace. She wants you to call her on her cell." He watched her closely, looking for her reaction. He was rewarded with a radiant smile.

"Did she say what she wanted?"

"Nope. Just told me to have you call her."

"K. Breakfast looks good. Trying to spoil me?"

"Yep. You deserve it," he said kissing her chastely and setting a loaded plate in front of her.

She just smiled.

It was noon before Olivia got a chance to call Grace back. She and Elliot caught a case almost as soon as they'd gotten to work and it had kept them busy the whole morning.

The phone seemed to ring forever before Grace finally answered. The chatted inocuously for a few minutes before Grace got the the reason for her call.

"Olivia, I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner on Friday with me. I want you to meet my boyfriend, Peter."

"I would love to. With my work...well, sometimes I get called out, but barring any complete disasters, I will be there." She couldn't keep the smile out of her voice.

"Great! I'll have Maggie contact you with the place and time."

"Maggie?" Olivia asked, confused at the sudden introduction to a new person in her daughter's life.

"Maggie's my personal assistant. She coodinates all my social stuff. Oh, and Olivia, I don't know if you have one, but you are welcome to bring him or that partner you mentioned."

"Ok. Thanks. I'll see you Friday." Her voice sounded strange and distant as she hung up the phone. It was begining to hit her just how far out of her frame of reference her daughter's life really was. Suddenly, dinner on Friday was just a tiny bit intimidating.


End file.
